What Happens When You and Your Spouse Don’t Agree on Money?

Most federal employees picture retirement planning as a solo game.

But if you’re married or partnered, your TSP decisions aren’t just about you.

That means varied expectations, wants, and needs.

And disagreements about money usually aren’t about math — they’re about comfort, trust, and different definitions of security.

1. Different Risk Comfort Zones

The clash: One spouse is terrified of losses, the other wants more growth.

The fix: Build two buckets inside your TSP strategy:

• 🛡️ Safety Bucket — G or F Fund for stability.

• 📈 Growth Bucket — C, S, or I Funds for long-term returns.

Both mindsets get represented — and both partners sleep at night.

2. Spending Pace in Retirement

The clash: One spouse wants to travel big in the early years, the other worries about draining the nest egg.

The fix: Agree on a sustainable baseline (like a 4–5% withdrawal rate) for recurring expenses. Then set aside a “fun fund” for higher-spending years.

Enjoy life and protect the nest egg.

3. When to Retire (or Keep Working)

The clash: One spouse wants to call it quits, the other values a bigger pension or FEHB coverage.

The fix: Run the scenarios side by side. Numbers make the trade-offs clearer than emotions — and often reveal compromise solutions, like one spouse retiring earlier while the other keeps working.

4. Communication Guardrails

Money talks don’t have to be battles.

Instead of rehashing money every week, set scheduled “retirement check-ins” — quarterly or annually.

This keeps you aligned without turning every dinner table into a budget meeting.

There’s no single “right” TSP strategy when two people are involved.

The winning plan is the one both spouses can live with.

Because no matter how sharp the math looks on paper… it won’t work if half the team is losing sleep.

—FWR