The Lazy Federal Worker’s Guide to Retiring Rich Anyway

Doing the Bare Minimum Never Felt So Good

May 01, 2025

If “set it and forget it” sounds like your kind of retirement strategy, you’re in the right place.

This isn’t another lecture. It’s your bare-minimum blueprint for growing a solid TSP balance while you focus on literally anything else.

Below are 4 lazy-genius moves federal workers can make to retire comfortably…

…Even if you don’t love numbers, charts, or logging into your TSP account more than once a year.

Let the L Funds Adult for You

🔧 Effort level: 1/10 – Set it and forget it.

Lifecycle (L) Funds do all the balancing, adjusting, and age-based shifting automatically.

You get broad diversification and risk management—without ever lifting a finger.

What to do:

  • Choose the L Fund closest to your retirement year (e.g., L 2040).

  • That’s it. Seriously. You’ve got a full-time portfolio manager built in.

Take the Free Money, Always

🪙 Effort level: 2/10 – Minimal effort, maximum reward.

If you’re not contributing at least 5%, you’re leaving free money on the table. The government matches it dollar-for-dollar, so that’s a 100% return on your first 5%.

Too much to remember?

  • Set up automatic escalation—some agencies increase your contributions by 1% each year, pain-free.

Hands Off, Still Balanced

📊 Effort level: 0/10 – No active brainpower required.

Over time, your investments drift out of balance. Rebalancing keeps risk in check. But you don’t have to think about it.

The lazy fix:

  • Use L Funds—they rebalance automatically.

  • Or, if you pick your own funds, log in once a year and hit "rebalance." Then go back to your coffee.

Out-Save the Market with Zero Guesswork

⌛ Effort level: 1/10 – Steady wins everything.

Timing the market is hard.

But contributing consistently, regardless of ups and downs, is easy—and more effective over time.

The lazy genius move:

  • Keep contributing every pay period.

  • When the market’s down, you buy more shares. When it’s up, your balance grows. Win-win.

🚫 Bonus: What NOT to Do (Seriously)

  • Don’t borrow from your TSP unless it’s an emergency—you’re shortchanging Future You.

  • Don’t chase last year’s top-performing fund.

  • Don’t overthink it. Thinking leads to tweaking. Tweaking leads to panic. Panic leads to 3 a.m. TSP logins.

Bottom Line:

You don’t need a spreadsheet, a finance degree, or a passion for portfolio theory.

You just need a lazy-proof plan that works in the background.

Set it up once. Let it ride. Then enjoy the peace of mind knowing you’re quietly building a retirement fund that works harder than you have to.

Smart laziness = systematized wealth.

You’ve got this—even on autopilot.

Best,
Federal Wealth Retirement